Have you heard about the 36 questions? I first heard about them a few weeks ago when the New York Times published a follow up piece to their original article about them- which was entitled “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.” The article had thirty-six questions designed to help you get to know someone well and which had led, in both laboratory settings and otherwise, to people falling in love with each other.
In the article I read, people who had answered the questions with prospective or current partners had interesting things to share. The questions had, in fact, led some couples to fall in love. It had led some to realize (it seemed, at least in part, because of their answers) they weren’t right together. And for some couples already together, it had led to them feeling closer.
I have a confession, though: I love questions like these. I love going around the table at dinner and asking people who they most admire or what their favorite meal is. And my husband and I have been together for nearly thirteen years. Scanning over the questions, I knew what some of his answers would be before I even asked him.
But I had to do it. I wanted to know his answers and see if asking them had any tangible results.
So one night at dinner, we asked them of each other. It was cool. I love having the deeper kind of conversation that these kinds of questions engender. We laughed. We pondered. We even surprised each other a little.
And, after so many years, there’s nothing cooler than that.